


Hear me for my cause and be silent.

by Smallestgeek (Geektaire)



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Deaf Character, Hospitals, M/M, Traumatic Injury, happy-ish?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 01:09:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geektaire/pseuds/Smallestgeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this Tumblr prompt by terrorcanary. "But what about a modern au where Enjolras loses his hearing for some reason and Grantaire learns sign language. then someone says something that disagrees with Enjolras but he can’t tell because he’s deaf so Grantaire starts ranting at this random and Enjolras thinks that he’s just doing Grantaire’s drunk ranting. But it isn’t and Enjolras signs ‘what are you saying?’ so Grantaire turns to Enjolras and starts signing what he’s saying and everyone’s like what is going on."</p><p>All stories have a beginning, and this is theirs. Life had changed in a moment, but in the end life has to go on. This is how... or at least a way how...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hear me for my cause and be silent.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not deaf, and even though I have interacted with many people with this condition, I can't even try to imagine the psychological impact something like this would have in their lives. I'm not trying to disrespect anyone with this piece of work.

As this type of things usually happen, it all happened in a blink of an eye. They had been at a rally, one they hadn't organized but the group that did had invited Enjolras to speak. He had been standing at one side of the platform, the rest of his friends in the front row, as the first rock was thrown. Grantaire had barely had the chance to yell his name, making him turn slightly, before the rock hit him in the back of his head. Enjolras frowned, first at Grantaire for yelling his name when someone else was in the middle of a speech, and then at the red in his hand as he brought in front of his eyes from where it had been rubbing the site he had been hit.

 

What came next was a pandemonium. Enjolras was still slightly out of it when out of nowhere people started to push forward as more rocks came hurling towards the platform. Everyone, when they would talk about the incident between themselves, saw in slow motion how one of the rocks hit Enjolras in the arm he had thrown up to cover his face; making him lose his footing and fall from slightly over 6 feel tall structure.

 

While Bahorel and Combeferre, the tallest of les amis, tried to keep people from pushing them against the metallic fence that had been installed to keep people away from the platform; Grantaire had jumped over and ran as fast as he could to Enjolras side. Joly had followed, giving out instructions to Marius to call and ambulance, and he was at the leader's side just a moment after the artist. Joly, who usually was one of the most laid back members of the group, immediately turned into someone they wouldn't have imagined if they hadn't seen him. He ordered people around, keeping them in a circle around Enjolras to keep anyone from trying to get any closer, he checked their friend's vitals and kept Grantaire grounded enough not to need to get him away from the scene.

 

The ambulance took what felt like years, which was probably less than 10 minutes. The police, who usually had an aversion against les amis, helped the paramedics make their way to the fallen man. Marius would recall later, that the moment the paramedics arrived Joly seemed to start talking in a language that even him, being a polyglot, could not even imagine to ever understand. Grantaire hadn't let Enjolras's hand go, even when he was put into a gurney and even ran alongside it as they made their way to the ambulance.

 

Jehan didn't remember the next few minutes, the next time he was completely conscious of where he was he was standing besides a coffee machine at the E.R. Combeferre was gone, probably talking to someone he knew since it was the hospital where he was doing his internship, and Grantaire was back again among them. He looked at the clock, the rally had started at 3 pm, and it was now almost 9pm. He sighed as he moved to sit between Courfeyrac and Bahorel, who both seemed to be calm but he couldn't help but notice how the brawny man was gripping the arms of the chair so hard his knuckles were white.

 

Éponine and Cosette were one at each side of Grantaire, who had silent tears running down his face. The usually drunk man was in love with their leader, they all knew it, well all of them except Enjolras. He was scared, he could see him slightly trembling as Cosette pulled him to her chest and Éponine kept on running her hands through his curly dark hair.

 

They were kind of used to this, since most of the times they ended up here after a protest. But this was the first time one of them had been brought there unconscious by an ambulance. Joly kept muttering from Bahorel's other side that his vitals had been stable, that it was probably just a concussion... but what he only archived by that was getting Musichetta to gather him in her arms and for Bossuet to sit in front of him in the floor resting his head against his knees.

 

Combeferre returned around an hour later, just to tell them the same Joly had said before. His vitals were stable, he was still unconscious and he was being taken to get a CAT scan and from what they found there he would be brought back to the E.R for observation, or be taken to get an MRI. He left after that, not returning until yet another hour had passed. His news were 'good', the CAT scan showed that 'the damn bastard' only had a concussion and they just had to wait him to wake up.

 

The collective relief was obvious, and one by one on Combeferre's orders, started to leave and go back to their places. Only Combeferre and Grantaire were left by the time one of the interns came and called Combeferre, taking both of them to the room where Enjolras had been moved. Grantaire sat in the chair by the blond's bed, but his hand besides the still unconscious man's hand (not touching him) and promptly fell asleep. Combeferre smiled at the sight they made, the stupid pair of stubborn asses, and sighed as he finally sat down to get some rest. Finally being able to breath a little more easy as he was in the presence of his friend, still unconscious but stable.

 

The first thing Enjolras noticed as he regained consciousness was that something tickled the palm of his hand. He could feel himself groaning, as his eyes started to try to open. He moved his head to the side and felt like crying. Everything moved around him, he opened his eyes and still everything was moving making him nauseous. He was not new at the sensation of vertigo, having suffered it because of stress more than once before, but he still felt like complaining.

 

Combeferre's face appeared in his line of vision, and it was until he saw him open and close his mouth that he realized the silence in the room. He frowned at his friend, opening his mouth to speak but realizing that he couldn't even hear himself. He saw as Combeferre started frowning, turning to say something to someone out of Enjolras's line of sight and putting gently a hand over his mouth as he tried to say something once more.

 

It was matter of minutes before two doctors walked into his room, a really young female one that gave him a small smile and an older doctor who at first addressed Combeferre before turning his attention to him. He tried, once again, to explain what was happening to him to what he saw all of them cringe and Combeferre put his hand in his shoulder as if giving him support. The doctor, who hadn't even bothered to give him his name, did a series of tests using a tuning fork before turning and asking something to who he guessed was the intern. She left and came back a few minutes later, carrying with her what it seemed like a tablet. The doctor took it and started to write something in it, taking a few minutes to do so, and then showed it to Enjolras.

 

_I'm Doctor Montgomery, trauma. You suffered a concussion and was unconscious for almost 10 hrs. We ran several tests last night that seemed to be normal. I did some tests and it seems you have sensorineural hearing loss, I'm going to call a specialist who will be able to confirm or deny the diagnosis and also he will be able to answer all of your questions._

 

Enjolras was in shock, he didn't move or even acknowledge the doctor as he said his goodbyes. Hearing loss? He was deft? For how long? Could they do anything about it? He started asking all of this questions to Combeferre who would only look at him with pity in his eyes and he felt like crying. He felt as his breathing started to speed up, saw as his chest moved up and down way too quickly to be normal and he started to feel dizzy. Combeferre was saying something, but his vision started to get blurry, because of the tears he now felt running down his cheeks or because of he was hyperventilating he was not sure. Combeferre let go of him and dashed out of the room, and Enjolras was starting to feel faint when someone else took his other hand and moved into his line of vision.

 

He was surprised, though he would realized it until later because he couldn't really think about anything else at the moment but 'deafness' and 'permanent'. Grantaire put his free hand in his cheek and started to calmly, and slowly mouth words at him. 'Calm down' 'Breath with me' 'yes' 'like that' was all Enjolras could see as he started to calm down. As he did Grantaire moved to press his forehead against his, not letting go of his hand and caressing his cheek with his free one. Enjolras tried not to think of anything other than the feel of the man's hand in his cheek and of the blue of his eyes.

 

It took him a couple of minutes for him to calm down completely and to stop crying. When his breathing was back to normal, Grantaire finally pulled back and moved back to where he had been sitting before; not letting go of the hand Enjolras was clutching like it was his lifeline. Combeferre was back, and he smiled softly at him as he moved to sit in the chair at his side. And in silence, one he hoped was not to become his life, they waited for the doctor to arrive.

 

He did had sensorineural hearing loss, according to Doctor Lafayette who was his specialist. He had been taken for another CAT scan, and then he was brought back to be put through one of the most annoying tests he had ever been through. The 'audiometry' who according to what he had researched through the internet was suppose to tell them how bad was his hearing loss. His spirit fell as he saw the doctor turn the 'dial' higher and higher and he still didn't perceived a sound. He had smiled and called out when he finally heard something, though by Combeferre's face he could see it was as bad as he thought it was.

 

He was put in bed rest, he could not leave the hospital at least for the next 4 days and he would had to go through that every day to see how his hearing progressed. The doctor had answered all his questions patiently, and Combeferre had apologized in his behalf once he started to snap and be short to her as she gave him more and more bad news. Grantaire had been there through it all, he arrived as soon as visiting hours started and left when the nurses practically kicked him out.

 

By the fifth day his room was filled with flowers, plush toys, balloons and get well cards. His parents had even bothered to send him an email once Courfeyrac had been able to get in touch with them. His friends had tried to cheer him up, but the truth was he was failing deeper and deeper into despair. His audiometry had barely changed, he had finally gotten it out of the doctor and he knew now that he had 'profound' hearing loss and his prognosis was not good.

 

The next time the doctor came to him, he was told of a procedure that could maybe help. The test they had put him through the first day had showed them he had a fistula, a 'connection' between two places that weren't supposed to be connected and since he hadn't shown any improvement they thought he might gain something by going under a surgical procedure. He talked it over with Combeferre and Courfeyrac and he decided he had to give it a try.

 

But a week passed and nothing had changed. It was until then that the doctor started talking of psychological help, learning sign language and hearing aids. He was 'lucky', he had been told, since at least his vertigo left during his first five days he hadn't had many problems with his equilibrium which where common in his kind of disease. He was discharged soon after, with the indication of having to take it easy for a couple of weeks and to avoid at all costs situations like flying, scuba diving and weightlifting for the immediate future.

 

His friends welcomed him home, a small get together where they all carried around small whiteboards and tried to be over polite with him. He wanted to scream and shout, to send them all away and to bury himself in his duvet and stay there for a long time. But he didn't, because they were his family and they loved him, even if they couldn't begin to understand what he was going through.

 

Combeferre, since he was his roommate anyway, took the role of primary caretaker. He was the one that reminded him of taking his meds, the one that was able to coerce him into getting out of bed, at least the first few days. His therapy started the next week, three times a week for at least a few weeks; more audiometries, classes so he could learn sign languages, remedy essays from school so he could at least try to keep up with his law degree. It was all chaos and he sometimes wanted to throw a tantrum like a three year old, especially whenever he saw his friends hovering like he wasn't allowed to do anything.

 

His phone and laptop became his salvation, he could spend hours debating topics with Grantaire through whatsapp and he could at least pretend everything was back to how it was. He could post things back and ford with Feuilly in facebook, or reblog Marius's posts in tumblr with the valid reasons why he was wrong; and in those moments he could forget how he would never be able to go to the cinema once more, to a play, hear the chant of people as they protested, how he could never hear Combeferre snort in laughter once more, Courfeyrac giggles, Jehan's soft voice as he told people off in a way even he was scared, Bahorel's 'war cry', Feuilly's taping in the table during meetings that exasperated him so much, Éponine's scoffs whenever he said something she considered stupid; Joly, Bossuet and Musichetta's contented sighs when they hugged each other in greeting... how he could never hear Grantaire sing again.

 

There hadn't been a meeting since the incident happened, almost a month before. Combeferre had tried to convince him that he was first, that the cause could wait for a little while. But he wanted to try and go back to what he knew, try to go back to how the things were before all this happened. He was never someone who enjoyed noise, he usually studied in silence, he rarely listened to music and whenever he was alone at home he could spend hours if not days without turning the TV on, or even the radio. But now, as he walked down the street with Combeferre at one side and Courfeyrac at the other he suddenly missed it all.

 

He kept his head down, raising it once they entered the cafe where everybody was already waiting for them. He took his usual place in the head of their usual table, giving his friends a small smile as they waved at him in greeting. And then, then he started talking. He read the speech he had written the day before, the intonation just as he would had done it a month ago, he wondered as he spoke how long it would take for him to lose his perfect diction and the way of talking he new could bring people to silence. He felt his throat constrict as he saw everyone's looks, and he was sure that even if he couldn't hear it his voice cracked slightly. He took a deep breath and continued, trying not to look at his friends, trying not to focus on the pity in their eyes and the anger he felt at them; his eyes fell on the occupant of the other side of the table, Grantaire was looking at him as he usually did, not with pity but with the same look he always tried to make sense of but never could. He focused on that, on the normalcy of it and he couldn't help but smile as he saw Grantaire scoff and take a deep drink of his beer as he shook his head.

 

He missed the way almost everyone glared at the artist, how more than one actually tried to chastise him over being his usual aggravating self. But he didn't care, he stood up and deconstructed Enjolras's arguments like he would have done a month before, maybe a little less rambling and even less slurring but Enjolras couldn't actually hear the last one. Grantaire's argument seemed to bring les amis back, and after he finished his musings everyone started to pitch back in. Enjolras tried as hard as he could to keep the grin of his face, but it was simply impossible when he saw Grantaire take a drink of his beer smiling, giving him a nod and a wink as he did so.

They started planning their next endeavor as a group a few days later, understanding that going back to 'normalcy', as best as they could, would be the best for Enjolras and for them. That did not meant his friends started dropping in less into his apartment as they had been doing. One of them, they had a schedule now, usually drove him back and forth from therapy and classes since he had to accept that he wasn't ready to move on his own in the city. He tried assisting to classes, only to give up and take a leave of absence at least until the next semester started. Two months after the accident his life was slowly starting to make sense, he was working harder than ever in learning his new 'language' and the feeling of dread started to disappear slowly, but it was disappearing.

 

He was walking out of his latest class when he was shocked to discover Grantaire standing in the front of the building.

 

 _What are you doing here?_ He signed sloppily, he was learning fast putting the same kind of dedication he usually put into his normal schooling into this. He frowned, shaking his head as he started to mouth the words to match his signs. While it was true his friends, and whatever Grantaire was to him, had started to learn sign language, they weren't doing it as fast as he did... they did had other things to do other than watching videos for hours at the time.

 

 _Thought you might like to try walking back._ Enjolras stopped in his tracks, smiling as he saw the grin on Grantaire's face at his surprise. _What?_

 

 _You can sign?_ He was sure his mouth was hanging open as he saw him throw his head back and laugh. He felt just a small pang in his stomach as he imagined his barking laugh.

 

 _No,_ Grantaire took him by the elbow and started walking once more. _This is all in your head._

 

Enjolras laughed, still not used to actually not hearing his voice but just feeling the vibrations. _Why didn't you tell me you could sign?_

 

 _I wanted it to be a surprise, I had to wait for you to get a little better._ Grantaire signed slowly, giving Enjolras' time to comprehend each one of them.

 

 _You've known for a while?_ He repeated the sign when Grantaire showed him how to do it correctly.

 

 _Practically my first language, my mom._ Enjolras wanted to ask, he wanted to know more about how it was for him, how his mother had lost her hearing, about everything.

 

 _Makes sense now._ Enjolras signed as they stopped just before going down the stairs to the metro station. _How you acted with me?_

 

Grantaire just raised his eyebrows with a small smile in his face. They didn't sign anything as they made their way to the platform, Enjolras did jumped slightly as his hand touched Grantaire as they stood side by side.

 

 _You should see Bahorel trying to sign._ He signs to Enjolras once they are sitting one in front of each other on their way to Enjolras's flat. _His monstrous hands flow even more swiftly than Marius´s, it's so much fun to see the other´s shocked faces._

 

Enjolras shifted uncomfortably as he spied a girl standing behind Grantaire, openly staring at him. Grantaire saw him fidgeting and looking over his shoulder. He rolled his eyes and turned in his seat. One of the things Enjolras hated the most about his deafness, was that unless people where looking directly at him there was no way of knowing what they were saying. So, as Grantaire turned he had no idea what the curly haired man said to the girl staring but he could now, after hours and hours of videos and classes, more or less read whatever she said.

 

He saw her blush, stutter and answer to Grantaire. He saw as Grantaire turned around and cross his arms, huffing as he looked over his shoulder just to make sure she was no longer staring.

 

 _You didn't have to be rude._ Enjolras signed to him, frowning.

 

 _I wasn't,_ at Enjolras's disbelieving look he grinned. _I swear._

 

Enjolras couldn't help but smile back. Grantaire was still smiling as they got out of the metro and started walking back to their destination.

 

After that day, it became their thing. Enjolras started to become more and more secure about his surroundings, helped of course by the constant professional help he received. He was starting to be able to sign faster and faster each day, his vocabulary improving with Grantaire's help and his anxiety becoming less and less with each day that it passed. He still had some 'bad' days, days where he felt his life was over and there was nothing bright in his future; but he now had almost all the help he could probably need.

 

His friends stopped treating him weirdly as the time passed as well, if they had been close before his accident, now they were inseparable. He had subtly let the know it was alright if they didn't know how to sign, and he saw the relief in all of them since they were clearly having trouble learning it. He told them as well that he wanted to continue their work and they had resumed their planning and rallying.

 

His biggest setback so far had been around three months after, when his doctor had admitted that if there was any chance of him getting any of his hearing back, it would have already happened. They had talked of the possibility of helping him with hearing aids and if those didn't work he would be a candidate for a cochlear implant. He had left the doctor's office in a trance, he had done his usual thing where he read everything he could find in the internet about what he wanted to know. And he knew what that meant.

 

As usual, Grantaire was waiting for him outside the building. He didn't even wondered how he had known he had an appointment and where it was, he had walked straight to him and thrown his arms around the shorter man. He had burrowed his face in Grantaire's shoulder as tears started to fall from his eyes, he felt his arms go around him as he started to sob and he cried harder as he imagined Grantaire's voice in his ear as he whispered soothing words to him.

 

They stood there, in each other arms for a long time. They didn't care for the looks people gave them, or the cold that had started to make Enjolras who was usually always cold, shake in Grantaire's arms. Enjolras moved back once he felt ready to let go, smiling sadly as he tried to wipe his wet cheeks from any evidence of his break down. Grantaire only gave him a sad smile, wiping the tears from his face before standing on his tip toes to kiss him in the forehead. Enjolras couldn't help but take Grantaire's hand in his as they started on their way back, resting his head on his shoulder as they did so.

 

It was for moments like those that Grantaire lived, it was for moments like those that had made him take the most important decision of his life. He was still not ready to confess his love for the blond man, he probably would never be... but he knew Enjolras needed him, and he was willing to be there for him. He might not believe in what his friends were doing, in changing the world for the better; but he did believe in his friends, in love, and what better way to show this than being there for the person he loved the most. And in the end, he also knew Enjolras was not ready for love.

 

 _Combeferre tried to convince me to go through the surgery._ Enjolras signed to Grantaire as they walked to the cafe were they usually bought their croissant and hot beverages from on their way back to his flat.

 

 _You don't want to?_ Grantaire signed as he tried to keep the shock from his face as he did so. It hadn't been a surprise for either of them, though it was for their friends, when he was told after a series of tests that he was not a candidate for a hearing aid and only an implant would be able to return him part of his hearing.

 

Enjolras just shrugged as he sat down in an empty table at 'their' cafe, smiling as one of the usual waitress made their way to them. _It's not going to change much,_ he sighed, _It's not going to be back to what it was and_ He stopped to point at what he wanted from the menu before turning back to look at Grantaire. _What?_

 

Grantaire sighed, putting his hands over his face as he did so. Enjolras frowned and put his hands over his, bringing them down to the table once more. Grantaire couldn't help but smile at the concerned face on the blond man, giving him a sad smile. He let go of one of Enjolras's hands, gripping the other tightly, as he tried to signed as best as he could with only one hand. _Are you scared? Is that why you don't want it?_

 

Enjolras shook his head, gripping Grantaire's hand more tightly. _Don't laugh at me,_ he glared at the other man as he signed the words, _My hearing is too far gone, and while I'm good with using my parents money to get me up to speed with sign language, and lip reading and all those things._ He sighed as he made a small pause, grimacing as he pulled his hand out of Grantaire's hand. Grantaire immediately moved to take it back, frowning at Enjolras as he tried to pull it back.

 

 _Is not about the money,_ Grantaire signed as he looked at Enjolras with tenderness. _Social security would be able to cover it, if your parents won't._ He moved his free hand to touch Enjolras's chin, making him look up as he had lowered his face as he saw what Grantaire had signed. _What's the real reason?_

 

 _It won't be the same, it will never be the same_. Tears had started to gather in Enjolras' blue eyes making them glassy as he looked at Grantaire. _It won't bring it back, I won't ever be the same._

 

Grantaire let go of his hand bringing it to Enjolras's cheek instead. _You better always remember this,_ he was caressing the older man's cheek with more tenderness than he had ever shown before. _It won't ever be the same, It won't bring everything back._ Enjolras was shocked to see that Grantaire's eyes were just as teary as his, _but don't you want to be able to hear Courf's laugh? Or Combeferre's scolding voice?_

 

_But what if it doesn't work?_

 

 _Do you know,_ Grantaire's Adam’s apple bobbed slightly as he tried to gulp down the knot he felt on his throat. _I was well into my teenage years when my mom was finally able to get one through social security,_ a couple of tears started to fall down from his eyes. _She told be afterward, after months of rehab and pain... that it all had been worth it, just to be able to hear me telling her what I signed to her every single day, that I love her._

 

Later, Enjolras would remember this moment and blush, but in that instant he wasn't sure what exactly came over him as he pulled Grantaire by the lapels of his coat to him and smashed his lips to his. The kiss was awkward, sloppy and too short for his liking... but Grantaire's smile after he pulled back was incredible.

 

 _What was that for?_ He was smiling, so Enjolras just blushed and turned his face down to try and hide it. He was then forced to look up by Grantaire's hand that had stayed in his cheek and kissed softly once again.

 

 _Just for being you._ Enjolras laughed when this time it was Grantaire who blushed red to the tip of his ears. They both said their goodbyes with a smile and a kiss as Grantaire dropped him off at his apartment a couple of hours later, with the promise of seeing each other the next day at their next meeting... and with the promise of thinking about all of his possibilities.

 

His friends weren't sure what they were the most shocked about the next day, the fact that as soon as Grantaire arrived Enjolras pulled him close and kissed him... or when Grantaire took down one of the new members that made a point against Enjolras's latest endeavor, only to proceed to turn around and signed the exactly same words (all 5 minutes of them) to a bewildered Enjolras.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Just a couple of things before you go!
> 
> 1) I know that sign language and spoken language don't use the same grammar but I felt that this would be better to make it comprehensible.  
> 2) .... I knew there was a number 2 but I forgot?  
> 3) I'm here [Tumblr](http://liferuinedbytveit.tumblr.com/) if you want to drop by....  
> 4) The quote from where the title comes from is 'Hear me for my cause, and be silent, that you may hear.' from Shakespear's Julius Cæsar


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